Three Seriously Stupid Serious Songs, Part 3
64As I explained in Part One of the series, and reiterated in Part Two, my objective is to identify songs that are intended to be serious, but, because of the lyrics, are seriously stupid.
They are not necessarily lousy music, so you won't find John Phillip Sousa's marches here. Instead, you will find catchy tunes that were popular to varying degrees, most of which you and I like when we listen to them. If we were to try to explain the lyrics, however, we would likely sound as stupid as the lyrics themselves.
The first song of these three was nominated by the lovely and talented Mighty Mom, who is hereby acknowledged and has this link to her author's page in case you missed it on her name!
If You Remember Too Long, There's Always DNA
This song sounds like it conveys some deep thought, but starts being stupid almost from the start. On the first part of his journey, he was looking at all the life. There were plants and birds and rocks and things . . . wait, rocks aren't life forms! Neither are "things" unless those things are alive, and not the sand and hills he mentions! But it gets worse from there! He can remember his name, but what about that poor horse?! Does it remember the idiot forgot to name it? To top it off, the desert is likened to the ocean with its life underground. Don't believe it - those are truly vultures waiting for him to stop crying about the dry riverbed!
One Plus One
In math, one plus one equals two. However, in this case, when we take one great songwriter and add another great songwriter, we ended up with one really stupid song. I'm sure Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder meant well, but the ebony keys are fewer, are half notes, and do not sit side by side with the ivory keys on the piano. The ivory keys are side by side, while the ebony keys are separated and not equal to the ivory keys. I know it's not what they meant, but it is what they said when Paul says there is good and bad in everyone, and Stevie follows with something about what we need to survive, together alive. About the only thing more stupid than the lyrics is the video.
Children's Tales All Grown Up
If you believed that Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after, then you're just plain naive. The truth is that Jill wasn't putting out, so Jack found Little Red Riding Hood so he could get himself some strange stuff. If you don't believe me, just listen to what the same person who told us later to call Ghostbusters says in this serious, albeit stupid, song.
If you are like me, that's about all the seriously stupid serious songs I can take at this sitting. However, if you aren't like me, and haven't checked out Part 1 or Part 2, feel free to click the links! Oh, and Part 4 is now on line!
Thanks again to Mighty Mom for her suggestion! If you want to be like Mighty Mom (acknowledged and linked to your author's page), leave a suggestion that I include in a future part of this series!
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Of course it doesn't. I said that.
After nine days they could've named the dang horse....not to mention that they did one of the absolute WORST Neil Young impersonations ever while singing that song. As for "Ebony and Ivory," at least Joe Piscopo and Eddie Murphy got to lampoon that as Frank Sinatra and Stevie Wonder on SNL, so it wasn't a TOTAL loss, just 99%.
Loved the Hub.
So glad you included "Horse With No Name" in your line-up of stupid serious songs. Just goes to show the buying public can make any song popular if the tune is catchy enough. Very sad. Gershwin probably hasn't stopped spinning in his grave. ;D
Hi Jama! I hope you are well!
Even if he got the horse on the first day of his journey, how can he go a week-and-a-half without giving it a name, especially when he's thoughtfully noticing all the life like rocks and things? It's just one of those things that make me say "hmmm."
What I am finally wanting to ask you is how do you remember all these terrible examples from our past?
I get most of them just from listening to the radio and thinking associatively. Some of them I get by googling or cruising youtube. Others I get from suggestions. Mighty Mom, JamaGenee, and KF Raizor have been valuable in suggesting songs and/or bands, and rebekahElle is joining that group with a flurry!
The Writers Dog Level 2 Commenter 4 months ago
The horse in America's classic 'A Horse With No Name' did not have a name for the "idiot" to forget. Hence the title of the song.